9. June 2009 by Jasper.

Boudreaux invites Thibodeaux over for a crawfish boil. After he dumps a basket of mudbugs into the boil, one of the mudbug says, “Is it just me, or is it hot in here?”
The rest of the mudbugs scream, “Holy file’ — a talking crawfish!”

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22. May 2009 by Jasper.

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog for Sale ‘

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retri ever sitting there.  ‘You talk?’ he asks.

‘Yep,’ the lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says ‘So, what’s your story?’

The Lab looks up and says, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.  I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services…the United States Marines.  You know one of their nicknames is ‘The Devil Dogs.’

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.  I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger.  So, I decided to settle down.

I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.  I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.  I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just
retired.’

The guy is amazed.  He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

‘Ten dollars,’ the guy says.

‘Ten dollars?  This dog is amazing!  Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’

‘Because he’s such a liar … He never did any of that.  He was a crewdog in the Air Force!

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19. May 2009 by Jasper.

The game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, ‘Where
did you get that turkey?’

The boy replied, ‘What turkey?’

The game warden said, ‘That turkey you’re carrying under your arm.’

The boy looks down and said, ‘Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!’

The game warden said, ‘Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I’m going to do to you. If you break his leg, I’m gonna reak your leg. If you break his wing, I’ll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I’ll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?’

The little boy said, ‘I guess I’ll just kiss his butt and let him go!’

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7. December 2008 by Jasper.

“Honna Ru Ru, Honna Ru Ru.  Riyk to be queered for row approach for tree unna airpranes.  Row approach onree, no touchie go.  Row approach onree.”

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