11 April 2010 – The Chuck

Great turmoil for me and my family here.  Things pretty much under control for now, but it’s going to be shaky for a while.

Some of you know I’ve had problems with my middle daughter for years. On 1 April, she drifted into some kind of deep delusion and starting seeing dragons, hearing voices, and thought she was some magic player in a great battle of some new Golden Age.

She emailed me to come get the twins “NOW” early in the morning.  I don’t always check my email before work, but this time I did.  The first thing I thought of was that she was going to hurt them if I didn’t go there immediately.

To make a long story short–she was about as out of it as anyone I’ve ever seen.  I tried to lead the discussion to real things with no success.   Eventually Cindy came over, and later that day we drove over to our house.  My daughter was expecting an invisible friend to spirit her away at sunset, but when he didn’t show, I tried to get her to go to the VA because they have a mental health doctor in their emergency room.

She refused and eventually started doing the Linda Blair routine from the Exorcist.  If she could have green-pea souped me, she would have.  Sounds funny, but it is quite alarming when someone does that to you.  We had a neighbor come over to witness the event, and she was talking to her priest on the phone with things turned worse.  Before the night ended my daughter was arrested.  At the time, I considered it the worse night of my life, some of you might have read my facebook posts at the time.

The next morning I tried to get her involuntarily committed to no-avail, as she hadn’t physically hurt anyone or tried to commit suicide or said to me that she planned to do either.  In spite of being told by several people to leave her in jail, I bailed her out and successfully convinced her to come with me the VA.  After an intense few hours, she was seen by a doctor, but they kept me out of the room–people got rights you know–who let her walk after less than an hour.  My stress level was quite high by then.

However, she came out acting calm, a faux normal.  What else could I do?  I brought her home, our 20 year old daughter was there with Cindy and the three boys.  Things seemed fine, I wondered if the doctor talking to her had somehow helped–hard to understand this stuff–so I took a chance on going to work for Friday afternoon.

As I got home from work a few hours later, she was attacking Cindy.  She was arrested again.

The 1 year-old’s father came over the picked up the baby.  He also wanted the car we’d given my daughter a few months ago.  The car’s in her name, she’s been living with the guy, he has driven the car to work–I didn’t have any legal option to prevent him from taking it.  So he took the car.

He said he loves the baby and wants to care for it.  As far as I understand this process, the father’s rights trump the grandfather’s right in this state.

But the twins don’t have that option–if I don’t protect them, there’s nobody else.

Cindy has a temporary restraining order against Amanda.  And I filed a restraining order to keep her away from the twins, which also gave me temporary custody of them.  In addition, Child Protective Service has started an investigation.

We have our first of many court dates in less than two weeks.

She was in Bossier Max until last night. According to the bondsman who called me this morning, she pledged the car we’d given her a few months ago as collateral for the bond.

This has been a long ugly story.  Stemming when she ran away from home, two-weeks before her 18th birthday while I was Saudi and up to the attack on Cindy.

Even with your children, you have to drawn the line somewhere.

I’ve drawn the line at her physical attack on Cindy.

You can’t trust anyone who can switch from “normal” to explosively violent at the drop of a hat.

Hopefully, Amanda will seek the mental health help she needs, get well, then press on with her new life.

So, except for that, everything here is normal.

Oh, I’ve lost 20 pounds in the last week.  I call it the stress diet, but I don’t recommend it for anyone.  Good thing I started off so fat.

8 Responses to “11 April 2010 – The Chuck”

  1. Britt says:

    Chuck,
    Our prayers are with you. I know you and you have always been able to be eternally optomistic when I needed it. Please call me if you want to talk. I am not crazy, but I know some people that are…xxx-xxx-xxxx anytime.

  2. The Chuck says:

    Thanks Britt:

    I x’ed out your phone number so it wouldn’t make the rounds on the internet, but I’ve programmed it into my phone. Thanks again, I might give you a call later on.

  3. Johnboy says:

    Hey Chuck, sorry to hear about the trials and tribulations you are having with Amanda. I have some experience with something similar. My ex-mother in law was very bi polar and when she went off her meds she was extremely difficult to deal with and very unpredictable/outlandish behavior. Please add me to the list of folks to talk to if you need anything. Keep your chin up , buddy.

  4. Bob says:

    Chuck & Cindy, if you need me to do anything give a call. If you need to talk do the same, You all are in my prayers, Bob

  5. Professor says:

    Chuck,

    Sorry, indeed, that you and your family are in the midst of this time of difficulty. I will keep you all in my prayers. I am, however, joyful that I stumbled upon this Blog. Martha revealed last night that she had never Googled herself. I found that surprising, so we Googled her. She went upstairs and I decided to Google myself—it had been a while. That’s how I found this Blog—someone mentioned my name here.

    We are well and living in Lakeville, MN, a very southern suburb of Minneapolis-St Paul. We are two blocks from a goat farm and within a mile of corn fields. We moved up to MN after my “retirement” since much of Martha’s family is up here. I have been working at Goodrich, first as a project lead, then manager, and now a director. My group of 80 engineers designs air data systems, including pitot probes, air data computers and a product called SmartProbe™. We are actually working with Boeing on a project to get the BUFF RVSM compliant.

    I was offered recall to American a while back, but deferred as I did not see sitting reserve in New York (commuting and covering the three airports from a crash pad) as a great deal of fun. I still have a line number and recall rights, so we will see where life takes me. I have not flown an aerospace vehicle in nearly three years, but I keep saying one of these days I’ll get checked out at the local FBO. Still waiting for one of these days.

    Martha is a stay-at-home mom, which means she is never home—taking kids here and there, volunteering at the church, and taking care of all of us. Laura is a junior at the University of Minnesota Morris, majoring in Anthropology. Christine is a freshman at the University of St Thomas, majoring in Biology/Pre-Med. Kathleen is a sophomore at Lakeville North HS. Anna is in seventh grade.

    Reading through this Blog was like a breath of fresh air. Moving from Shreveport/Bossier City was like leaving the AF cold turkey. I miss you guys. There is a small Guard & Reserve Base at the MSP airport, but no club, BX or Commissary. Christine’s ex-boyfriend goes to school in Grand Forks, and we went up for a weekend about a year ago. Made the obligatory trip to Grand Forks AFB (an exciting place, for sure—NOT).

    Well, you all take care and I will be adding my two cents from time to time.

    All the best,

    Professor

    Still tough, but not flying the heavies.

  6. The Chuck says:

    Professor:

    So glad to hear from you, this BOB Blog was created for our circle of folks. Glad to have you on-board. Your account is now upgraded to “author” so you should be able to make posts without having to have them approved now.

    Glad to hear you’re doing well, as we all knew you would be doing.

    The Chuck

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