Kids Are From Jupiter

Dr John Gray wrote the famous Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus book in 1993.  In it he points out some differences between men and women–besides the obvious–and argues that happier relationship can be achieved by acknowledging and accepting them.  It sold a lot of copies back then and is still popular today.  Some folks say it actually helped their lives.  I remember giving it a try back then, but we gave up on it and just decided to have kids.  Now if someone could just write a guide on how kids differ from parents, that might be worth reading.  If it revealed how to get along with them.

They must be from Jupiter.  Think about it.

Jupiter is the most massive planet in the solar system, which is pretty much symbolic of how much the average parents think about their kids.  Even as an empty-nester, you can get all dressed up and go out on the town–and what do you talk about?

Your kids.  You can’t help yourselves.

Jupiter has four planet-sized moons and at least 59 smaller moons.  That would represent all the friends your kids have, that you don’t know about.  They have names like Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto.  They sound like street names for a bunch of other-people’s kids.  And your kids spend more time with their friends than they do with you.  Just like Jupiter.

According to NASA, Jupiter resembles a star.  Most kids believe they are stars–or even superstars.  But alas, Jupiter would need to be about eighty-times more massive to actually become a star.  Now does that explain it all?  Your kids think they’re a star, but they really don’t have what it takes to become one.  Yeah, that was mean.  So what?

Did you notice the famous red spot?  It supposed to be a huge storm.  Maybe it represents the anger our kids have because they’re not natural stars.  Then again, it might represent the growing popularity of tattooing, piercing and notching–attracting attention through tribal-like marring of their bodies.  Or maybe it just represent self-induced chaos.  What ever it stands for–it seems like it applies to our kids.

Jupiter’s year is much longer that Earth’s year.  Maybe that is why it takes kids five or six years to finish a four-year degree.  And because they are in a distant orbit, they take a lot longer to get around the Sun.  No matter how much advice you give them, it seems they have to go their own way.

Eventually, they get where they’re going.  Maybe it’s all for the better.  Jupiter in all likelihood needs to stay where it is.

If Jupiter tried to move in close and share our orbit, there’d probably be some sort of a collision and precious little room left for us.  And then nobody would be happy.